


Tradition

by twopinkcarnations



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Coercion, Consent Issues, F/M, Lingerie, Pre-Canon, Touching, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twopinkcarnations/pseuds/twopinkcarnations
Summary: “I’ve never met a Bad Janet before,” she says, “and I cannot find anything in the system that confirms or refutes your claim that Bad Janets have sexual relations with the architect they’re assigned to.”





	Tradition

“It’s tradition.”

“Michael.”

“The Bad Janets do it.”

His hand strokes down her arm.

“I’m not a Bad Janet.”

“And you’re not even a little bit curious about how the other half lives?”

She tilts her head to the side, and he can practically see the information racing through her brain.

“I’ve never met a Bad Janet before,” she says, “and I cannot find anything in the system that confirms or refutes your claim that Bad Janets have sexual relations with the architect they’re assigned to.”

“Well no. That sort of thing wouldn’t be in a manual.”

“I suppose not.”

He cups her face in his hands, and she allows it. Her synthetic skin thrums as Janet does everything from scan his fingerprints to measure his heart rate. He also likes to think it’s thrumming because she wants him to keep going.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Exploring.”

His hands dip into her long waves. She feels so real. All of her type did. Sure the Bad Janets went along with it so they could demand favors from him later, but everyone was a winner in the end. Besides, it might be nice to woo a Janet that was interested in him for himself.

“How many Bad Janets have you had sexual encounters with?”

“Five.”

His thumb strokes the side of her neck. Janets were always so _humanlike_. It was unnerving.

“That’s a small number considering you’ve been alive for forever.”

Michael’s hands drop.

“It’s not that small,” he says.

Her face scrunches.

“Mmm, it’s pretty small.”

“Janet, it is not!”

“Michael, most humans have more partners than you, and most only live to be seventy-five.”

Michael sighs.

“You look disappointed,” Janet says.

“Well, I am. I’ve lost the mood.”

He rubs his temples.

“Do you want me to try to relocate it?”

“That’s not what—Okay, sure. You know what, you try to find the mood. You take the reins.”

“I’ll be right back!”

Michael sits down in the boundless void that Janet calls home. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, alone, but it can’t be long. Janet is never away for very long. He looks up, and his jaw drops.

“I learned what you mean by ‘mood,’ and made a few adjustments. The Bad Janets I spoke with while I was gone told me what would help me get it back.”

Michael can’t think of anything to say, but he scrambles to stand as he takes in her new outfit. Lace. She was a confection of black lace and black satin and black stockings. Her look barely qualified as “undressed,” but he would swear he’d never seen anyone look better in anything.

“You’re not saying anything.”

“Gorgeous,” he blurts.

She bends over to unhook her stocking from her garter.

“Wait.”

Janet stops and straightens up.

“What’s wrong, Michael?”

“Nothing. Everything.”

“That’s impossible,” she says.

“Yeah, I thought so too until just this moment.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Janet, I’m going to kick myself later for saying this, but we can’t do this. Don’t get me wrong; this”—he waves his palm in her direction—“is perfect. But I can’t do this. Not if you don’t want to.”

“Okay!”

She vanishes again, and when she returns, she’s in her usual purple garb.

“I’m sorry, Janet. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

Janet smirks.

“Michael, I have a confession.”

He looks at her expectantly.

“I did ask some Bad Janets for advice, but they did not tell me about the lace.”

“Oh?”

“Nope, I came up with that all by myself!”

“You’re a smart not-girl, Janet.”

Janet grins.

“Why thank you, Michael. I know you know I know everything, but it means a lot to hear that, especially coming from you.”

“I think I’ll head back to my office now, Janet. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. I know you’re busy getting ready for the humans.”

He smiles at her for a moment before snapping his fingers and transporting himself back into his office. Michael sits down behind his desk with a sigh.

Who was he kidding?

He was never going to get any work done today. Not when Janet had looked like _that_.

It was going to be a long eternity knowing what he couldn’t have.

Imagine, merely being _friends_ and coworkers with a Janet!


End file.
